July 4, 2002
Dear Father _______,
I never dreamed I would ever be in a situation such as the one I find myself in now. I do not consider it to be a bad situation, but it is a very difficult one. One of the hardest parts of this for me is what I am putting you through. It certainly is not my intention to make the hard job you are doing any harder. I can only imagine what must run through your mind at times. I am sure questions such as, 1. Is he lying? 2. Is he exaggerating the truth? or even, 3. Is he crazy? These questions must run through your mind at frequent intervals. I know if someone told me the things I have told you I would be asking those questions.
There are a few things I would like to make sure you are aware of.
1. There is nothing on earth that I value more than our Catholic Faith. The high value I place on this can only be attributed to graces received in Emmitsburg because I could not say this before going to Emmitsburg.
2. I did not go looking for Emmitsburg, it found me 4 years ago yesterday on July 3, 1998. I was simply going to Gettysburg for a Civil War relic show. Little did I know how life and it’s priorities were about to change forever. I had never heard of Emmitsburg or the events at Saint Joseph’s.
3. I am not obsessed with the sensational aspects of something such as this. I know there are many reports around the world lately of modern appearances of Mary and except for Medjugorje, Father Gobbi and Emmitsburg I would not give 5 cents for any of them. I can say from experience that people who go to these things who are looking for miracles, visual effects or some other form of personal proof are the ones who do not stick around for very long.
4. If you find yourself suddenly thrust into something like this and you are not demanding God to prove it to you but then suddenly He does, then I can guarantee that you will remain faithful throughout any trial or hardship that God wishes that you go through. No matter how hard it might be. It makes it much easier when you know God is the source.
5. Emmitsburg and the events there are not the center or focal point of my Catholic Faith. The sacraments, especially the Eucharist is. Emmitsburg was just the tool God used to make the much needed adjustments in my life.
6. I continue to go to Emmitsburg on Friday night because I promised God that I would throughout the investigation period. It is the very least I can do considering what He has done for me. I also feel an obligation because I was the one who approached Father _____ _____ in Fairfield and asked him to allow us to use his parish. After Father ______ allowed the prayer group to continue in his church he received a lot of criticism, however he stands firm and we are welcome there.
7. I do not discuss or bring up the events in Emmitsburg with people at our parish. There was a time for talk and now there is a time for silence. Sometimes people do come up to me and ask “whats the latest?” Except for a very small group of people, I only say “The last I heard, the investigation is going very well.”
8. There are people in Emmitsburg who are trying very hard to get us to move there. At the present time I do not see this as an option. If that were to be God’s will, then I suspect that somehow He would make that known by events that would lead up to and point in that direction. So far that has not happened.
9. I have told God in prayer that I am willing to do His will. I have also told Him that He MUST lead because if I jump in front and go my own way, thinking I know what God wants, it will fail. (Such as moving to Emmitsburg.)
10. One final note : Cardinal Keeler and Father Thomas McKenna (Provincial for the Vincentians) has transferred Father Keirnan who is the current pastor at Saint Joseph’s to Philadelphia and he will be replaced as of August with Father William O’Brien. This is considered by many as a major step forward. Father Kerinan said he would be at St. Joseph’s for 10 years, he only survived 2. Father Kerinan’s failure to put this matter to rest does not reflect in anyway a negative attitude towards him, it only serves to show that what is from God can not and will not fail no matter what force man can hurl at it. It is all part of the validation process this must go through.
I can only suspect that throughout history such as Lourdes, Fatima etc. God allowed some people other than the principal players to get a glimpse of the truth. This glimpse gave them the courage and strength to stand strong and not be overcome by the fierce forces that will try to destroy it. Like many things, God may let it go to the brink, but if it is truly from Him, He will not let it fail.